Setting boundaries is a loving act of self-care that directly benefits your nervous system. When we think of boundaries, we often think about saying "no" to commitments or protecting our personal space.
However, boundaries go much deeper than that. They are about creating a safe environment for your nervous system to thrive.
Boundaries are like invisible fences we put up to protect our well-being. When we respect these limits, we allow our nervous system to function optimally.
Without boundaries, we expose ourselves to chronic stress and activation from our environment, which leads to a dysregulated nervous system. This dysregulation manifests as anxiety, burnout, and other health issues.
And according to UC Berkeley, chronic stress can have significant adverse effects on mental health.
At NEUROFIT, we understand the importance of nervous system regulation. Our app is designed to help users balance their nervous system in just a few minutes daily. And setting boundaries is one of the key practices that support this balance.
When your nervous system is out of balance, it sends out clear signals. Here are some signs to watch for:
Persistent feelings of anxiety or panic
Chronic fatigue and low energy
Difficulty concentrating or brain fog
Emotional volatility or frequent mood swings
Trouble sleeping or staying asleep
Physical symptoms like headaches or digestive issues
These symptoms often occur as psychosomatic pain when we neglect our boundaries, allowing external pressures to overwhelm our system. This can then make our bodies more prone to shifting into dysregulated states, shrinking our Window of Tolerance:
Setting boundaries can be simple and straightforward. Here are a few practical examples:
Work Boundaries: Limit work hours and avoid checking emails outside of those hours. Create a dedicated workspace to mentally separate work from home life.
Personal Boundaries: Set aside time each day for self-care activities like exercise, meditation, or reading. Commit to protecting this time.
By implementing these boundaries, you give your nervous system the space it needs to recover and stay balanced.
Understanding why boundaries get violated can help you prevent it from happening. Common causes include:
People-Pleasing: The desire to make others happy often leads to overcommitting and neglecting personal needs. This can come from suppressed shame or guilt that's stored somatically in the body.
Fear of Conflict: Avoiding confrontation can result in saying "yes" when you really mean "no".
Lack of Awareness: Sometimes, we aren't even aware that our boundaries are being crossed until we feel the effects in our body.
Recognizing these patterns is the first step in reclaiming your boundaries and protecting your nervous system.
Here are some practical steps to help you set and maintain boundaries:
Identify Your Limits: Reflect on what makes you comfortable and what doesn't. Be honest with yourself about your limits.
Communicate Clearly: Let others know your boundaries in a clear and respectful manner. Use "I" statements to express your needs.
Practice Saying No: It's okay to decline requests that don't serve you. Practice saying "no" in a way that feels assertive yet kind.
Create Space for Yourself: Schedule regular downtime to recharge. Use this time to engage in activities that nourish your nervous system, like those recommended in the NEUROFIT app.
Seek Support: If setting boundaries feels challenging, consider seeking support from a nervous system coach who can guide you through the process. You can also use CLEAR - our in-app mind-body coach - to release persistent emotions from the body, which can make all the difference when learning to set boundaries.
At NEUROFIT, we believe that a balanced nervous system is the foundation of well-being. Our app helps our community understand their nervous system's needs through daily check-ins that build mind-body awareness, biometric measurements, and personalized exercises.
As an example: note the different states you've felt yourself in on the NEUROFIT Ring today:
By using NEUROFIT, you can identify when your boundaries are being breached and take immediate action to restore balance. One way to do this within a few minutes is by using somatic exercises like Body Tapping to come back into your body, or Sacred Rage to release pent-up anger:
This insight led my husband Andrew and I to create NEUROFIT, where we help users get similar transformative outcomes.
Yes - anyone can learn to set boundaries. It's a good practice to review your boundaries regularly, especially during times of change or increased stress. Daily or weekly check-ins can help ensure your boundaries remain effective.
If someone continuously violates your boundaries, it's important to address the issue directly. Communicate your needs clearly and, if necessary, balance your nervous system with somatic exercises to feel safe in your body doing so, and limit your interactions with that person to protect your well-being.
Yes - setting boundaries is vital for healthier and more respectful relationships. When you communicate your needs clearly, it fosters mutual understanding and respect.
Oftentimes, these challenges from suppressed guilt or shame that are stored in your body from earlier in life. Use somatic exercises or our AI coach, CLEAR, to release these trapped emotions from your body - your nervous system will thank you.
Setting boundaries is a powerful way to support your nervous system - and it deserves the same care and attention given to other aspects of your health. By protecting your time, energy, and well-being, you create a foundation for a healthier and more balanced life.